Recovery, Renewal and Growth

Having Healthy Boundaries: A Necessary Way to Love

To know where you begin and I end is necessary for me to respect you, for me to be respected by you, and for me to respect myself. Without respect, there is no authentic love.  Every time I visit my family I come home feeling sick. My stomach gets upset. My energy is low. …

A Retreat for Grieving

The Phoenix · A Retreat for Grieving “Give the sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.” William Shakespeare, Macbeth Each year I look forward to writing a piece for our Retreat Issue. Often, I compose it on my way home from my annual retreat. However, this year …

When You’re In Your Head A Lot

I hang out quite a bit with a rather attractive blond at my fitness club. We discuss our workout routines and how to improve our times on the machines. We’re always chatting. She has a very nice smile. Most of my friends at the club, knowing we are both single, are on me. They say, …

With an Ally You Can Face Your Worst Fears

All my life I wanted to learn how to scuba dive. It was just one of those things I felt I had to do, not just to explore the mystery of the deep seas, but more importantly to explore and conquer something inside myself. You see all my life I’ve needed to be in control …

Living With Unidentified Trauma Symptoms

“One who returns to a place sees it with new eyes. Although the place may not have changed, the viewer inevitably has. For the first time things invisible before become suddenly visible. —Louis L’Amour  I’ve always felt there is something fundamentally wrong with me. Sometimes I get these anxiety spells out of the blue. …

When Every Other Day is About Ought’s and Should’s

“You don’t really control anything.” —Sheldon B. Kopp, Psychotherapist and Author All of us have times when we’re obligated to carry out duties as part of normal life rituals. Having relatives visit us from out of town may prompt us to clean our houses ahead of time and get the guest rooms ready. Doing so …

How to Not Take Things So Personally

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt, This Is My Story I had an eye-opening experience at church last week. A bunch of ladies at our coffee hour were all talking about their adult kids and how well they were adjusting to the challenges of college life. Being that my …

Creating as a Form of Meditation

Those of us who live or have lived with the problem of addiction in a relative or friend know what it means to over-utilize the left side of the brain. You know, the side that controls thinking, logic, analyzing, keeping things in order and figuring things out. We come up with hundreds of “if only’s” …

Where the Truth Lies (Why We Lie and How to Stop)

The Phoenix · Where the Truth Lies (Why We Lie and How to Stop) We all lie more than we’d like to think we do – to look good, to avoid trouble, to keep safe. But addicts lie as if their life depends on it. They say and do whatever is necessary to hide their …

The Hidden World of Video Gaming Addiction

In 2020, as in-person activities were shuttered for months, our online lives took on much more significance and that included increased exposure to video games. Although there has been much handwringing about screen time and the addictive dangers of video games, hard facts have been difficult for both parents and clinicians to come by. I …