• Hazelden Renewal CenterNUWAY Annual Picnic 2019

Cultural Myths That Undermine Our Happiness and Well-being

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Myths are metaphoric stories that can inspire or demean us. Believing in magical elves in forests may make our imaginations soar; thinking that people with dark skin are inferior to us only devalues us. The most destructive myths are those that operate in our lives while remaining unexamined. They do bad things to us without our being aware of them, and surreptitiously undermine our well-being. This is especially true when other people also believe the same myths as part of a cultural ethos and we just go along with the crowd. In fact the longer I’ve lived the more I … Continue reading →

Video Gaming: The Next 12-Step Frontier

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first person testimony

She’s anxious at work because she worries that her boss will catch her playing solitaire again. He’s up at 2 a.m. completing a task in the epic multiplayer game while his wife sleeps. She’s distracted watching her kids at the pool because it’s hard to put down the phone. He’s obsessed with rank and makes appointments for “raids” at family dinner time, causing constant stress. These are just a few ways in which compulsive multi-player and other computer and cell phone gaming are making people’s lives unmanageable. Is it possible to be powerless over technology in the way that many … Continue reading →

How Gambling Disorder Distorts the Brain

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brain image

Addiction — of any kind — is often difficult for many people to understand. But gambling disorder, a compulsion in which no chemicals are actually ingested into the body, can be particularly confounding. Gambling disorder refers to the uncontrollable urge to gamble, despite serious personal consequences. In 2013, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual 5 grouped gambling disorder into a category of disorders that also includes substance abuse. This change was made in light of new neuroscience research and brain imaging studies that show that people with gambling disorder have a lot in common with drug and alcohol addicts, including the … Continue reading →

Gardening Lessons

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garden with flowers

“My garden is my most beautiful masterpiece.” Claude Monet I greet my overflowing garden each morning with amazement and humility.  My garden is a miniature paradise, the closest I get to being an artist.  In the garden I partner with the natural world, giving me a palette to experiment with wonder and delight, failure and recovery. I learn so much in my garden.  The other day I removed two trees – one an elm, the other a cottonwood.  Lest you think I have been muscle building at the gym, they were seedlings – each standing about six inches above the ground in my flower bed. … Continue reading →

Think About It: The Power of Positive Thought

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positive wall sign

I can’t help but wonder what in the world was I thinking when I reflect on some of the major decisions I made in my young adulthood. I can only presume that I wasn’t thinking at all. My concept of contemplation was to deal with any consequences of my decisions “Later.” Such cognitive carelessness led me to marry at 18, again at 21 and once again at 29. In essence I was choosing not to think in those moments. I paid the price for my thoughtlessness with much unnecessary hardship and heartache. I manage to get myself in all kinds … Continue reading →

When a Friend Has Faith

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friends and faith

I told my friend I thought my life was a waste. She shook her head no. Through my endless use of profanities, and despite my angry outbursts toward her she still believed in me. She kept calling me back to her side. She never abandoned me. Still, my spirit was raging with fear that my life would never heal from the pain caused by circumstances that were beyond my control, and self inflicted. Then one day my friend’s eyes shone with care, she smiled at me, and for the very first time I heard her gentle words of hope for … Continue reading →

Tending and Mending a Wounded Heart

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broken heart

Many years ago on February 13, a first year representative to the New York state assembly received an urgent telegram at his Albany, N.Y., office containing a single three-word sentence: Come home now! The day before, his wife had given birth to a baby girl. Now, as the train made the five-hour trip back to his home in New York City, the new father wondered if something had gone wrong. As he read and reread the telegram, he prayed that all would be well in his household. Walking into his home, the man’s brother greeted him with this sad lament: … Continue reading →

Coping with Anger – Twelve Steps to Getting a Grip

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coping with anger

Anger is probably the most poorly handled emotion in our society. From time to time we all experience this very powerful feeling. Some of the common causes of anger include frustration, hurt, annoyance, disappointment, harassment and threats. It is helpful to realize that anger can be our friend or foe, depending on how we express it. Knowing how to recognize and express it appropriately can help us to reach goals, handle emergencies, solve problems and even protect our health. However, failure to recognize and understand our anger may lead to a variety of problems. Some experts believe that suppressed anger … Continue reading →

Trust: It Don’t Come Easy

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trusting

“A man who doesn’t trust himself can never really trust anyone else” Cardinal De Retz My desire and ability to trust someone seemed unattainable for many years. When I first got into recovery I didn’t trust a soul, including myself, with the possible exceptions being my two young children. The two people I had been able to place my complete trust in to never let me down, my parents, had died a few years after a divorce ridden with betrayal, and I felt very alone. Like most other adults who were over 30, I had been hurt by a few … Continue reading →

A Father’s Love

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man with son

June is the month we celebrate fatherhood and fathers everywhere. It seems to me that Father Love is very strong—both love from fathers and love for fathers. Two brothers, ages 24 and 27, recently had a reunion with their dad. For the first time in a long time, the father flew into town and visited them in their environments. He “hung out” with them, stayed at their homes, and visited them at work. Most importantly, he acknowledged and validated their successes as young men. It meant a lot to these brothers. There was laughter, tears and acceptance. Two other brothers, … Continue reading →