Im sick when Im sober
My wife doesnt understand how far Ive fallen,
She hates me drunk
She loves the sex after Ive smoked weed
She doesnt know why Im so distant on adderall
Shes happiest when Im on opiates
She says my soul is a good one, but I dont believe it
I never lie if she asks, but she rarely asks
I dont drink often anymore, Ive had my 10 yr binge. The sickly
mornings, heaving in the shower, walking around all day with a wad
of TP in my butt. Crapping 4 times before I have to leave for work.
Not having a hang over just because I always felt like poo.
I rarely smoke anymore because it just makes me anxious
I only take the Stims when I cant find downers.
I LOVE to take the opiates still, tramadol is my favorite, really the
only one I want. I function at a very high level and get alot done.
The others seem to over dope me.. oxys, vics, morphine… Never
done the H, no plans to either.
I know Im an addict and want my life to change, but the answer in
my head is to find a steady plug.
Seems I never have a problem with drugs until I run out…
Im strong ive kicked many of my habits solo and been clean for
years. But then I go back.. Is this my life?