Bob Ross, the infinitely relaxed host of The Joy of Painting famously said, “We don’t make mistakes, we have happy little accidents.”
And I believe Bob.
Although I am not a full-time musician, I recently released a solo EP and am currently writing and rehearsing for a new album with another band that I play in. I understand the grind, the hustle, and the exhaustion of the music business. There seems to be a never-ending cycle of writing, practicing, recording, releasing albums and performing. And if you are a full-time musician, there is touring, media/press obligations, and financial stress.
Being in a band can be unbelievably rewarding and quite exhausting at the same time. As artists, we can often think too much and allow fear and doubt to sneak into our dreams.
I try hard to practice what I preach about taking care of ourselves as musicians. We need to feel refreshed and energized in order to thrive.
Mark Mallman is a musician from Minneapolis whose mother died in 2013. He then wrote an album called “The End is Not the End” with hopes of healing his grief and panic attacks. He also is the author of the soon-to-be-released memoir called “The Happiness Playlist: The True Story of Healing My Heart With Feel-Good Music.”
Mallman writes, “Music is my only escape. My heart rate slows a bit. Breathing comes easier. The Happiness Playlist is created.”
Musician Adam Levy (Honeydogs, Sunshine Committee, Bunny Clogs), has been publicly sharing his personal journey of grief and healing. Levy’s son, Daniel, died by suicide in 2013. Levy wrote his album, Naubinway, in honor of Daniel, and as a way to heal through his excruciating pain of loss and confusion.
“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,” Levy writes in the title track, “We’ll bid you adieu if we must. A backwards baptism in Lake Michigan. I cradled my baby on his deathbed. Sleep my beautiful son in the shallows of Naubinway.”
Music heals again.
Last March, I accepted a position to be on the board for Dissonance, a Minnesota non-profit organization that helps musicians, artists and their loved ones to find resources and support for mental health, wellness and substance use. The Minnesota Music Coalition is another local organization, among others, who helps support our music community to help them feel that they are not alone in the struggles and hardships of the creative life.
Recently, I had the pleasure of meeting with drummer Eric Fawcett (N.E.R.D., Spymob). He wrote an article for Drummer Magazine where he said, “the more you get out there, the more you’ll find there’s rarely a challenge you’re not up for. It is when we push ourselves to create outside of our comfort zone that we learn most.”
Pushing ourselves creatively is one of the many pathways to healing. When we try something new and different, such as writing a different style of song, we strengthen our creative muscles. And just like any other muscle in our body, our creative muscles need to workout.
Starting a new music or art project can seem daunting. So when I listen to Composer’s Datebook on Minnesota Public Radio, I always love hearing John Zech’s friendly reminder that “all music was once new.” This statement alone can help liberate us from the fear of criticism and from starting a new project.
Of course, there is a chance for failure or disappointment. And there is also a chance for joy because within those difficult moments of self-doubt lies the magical formula for growth and creating something absolutely unique to you. And that’s part of what art is, isn’t it?
Ahmir “Questlove” Thompson, wisely states in his book, Creative Quest, that “creative people take in more than the average person — or, rather, they are less able to shut out parts of their environment. In the modern world, that’s an even more intense problem, because so much information, so many signals, flow across our brains.”
I could not agree with him more and know that it is important for Highly Sensitive Persons to be aware of the negative energy we can potentially absorb. Consistent self-care practices and strong, healthy boundaries can help us maintain our energy for creativity.
Speaking of energy, our 26th President, Theodore Roosevelt, emphatically exclaimed, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” With technology and social media readily available in our pockets, we habitually destroy our self-worth and drain our creative energy by comparing ourselves to everyone else.
Taking a social media break is one simple antidote to the poison of comparisons.
Musician Maya Elena recently remarked, “I love JOMO (the joy of missing out) because it helps me focus on my music and songwriting. It blocks out negativity and what everyone else is doing.”
In the music world, comparing ourselves to someone else is one of the most harmful and destructive things we can do. It serves no purpose and steers us off course. We need to block out all distractions, especially self-criticism, so we can continue to create music.
If you are a musician or artist, your own self-care must be priority. Self-care is not selfish. Without practice, you will burn out quickly and possibly lose your passion for music.
Even the Federal Aviation Administration recommends you put on your oxygen mask first, before attempting to help anyone else.
I hope you continue to make music or have other creative endeavors and that you thrive, grow, and inspire the next magical generation.
Brian Zirngible is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist with a solo private practice in Burnsville. He specializes in helping performing artists, highly sensitive men, couples and older teenage males find hope and passion within themselves and through creativity. Learn more about Brian at www.brianzirngible.com.