At times, I have come to see recovery – both discovering and maintaining – as a kind of a 3-legged table. If we lose one of the legs, the table topples. In this article, I want to reflect on the 3 legs that I see as important elements of recovery. I am not saying that these are the only legs of recovery. I see them as very important legs of the recovery experience which is on-going. For folks familiar with the 12 Steps, they correspond to Steps 10, 11, and 12. I have named these legs as taking inventory, remaining conscious and being of service to others. I hope to also suggest some additions to the traditional understanding of these Steps that have come to me through my practice of the 12 Steps. I am grateful that many years ago I was introduced to the Steps, and they have become a framework for living a life in recovery. As always, I welcome dialogue about what I am suggesting, and I believe that dialogue is the best way for adults to learn from and with others.

Taking inventory

Step 10 traditionally states – “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.” Step 10 is a reminder not to get lost in our past with what we did or didn’t do – a focus of Steps 4 and 5. This Step calls us into the present where we are seeking to live now. From my experience, we can easily get lost in our past as well as fantasying about our future. This Step states plainly – “what is going on now in your life, what’s happening and not happening.”

When talking about taking inventory, an old business story comes to mind. This goes back a number of years when I was working in a manufacturer’s rep company in the plumbing field. We had a large warehouse where we stored lots of plumbing fittings that we would ship to our customers in the 5 State area that we served. An annual ritual was taking inventory of what we had on hand for our biggest line of fittings. Usually, this ritual created fear among us in case what we counted didn’t match what the company said we should have. If the numbers differed substantially, we could be punished financially and their trust in us might suffer. A quick ending to this story – we always ended up in close proximity to what the factory said we should have. But our successes never completely eliminated our fears the next time that the inventory was scheduled to happen. I brought this experience to the 12 Steps when I heard about taking inventory and I felt some fear.

What I quickly learned – much to my relief – was that the inventories that were part of the 12 Steps were very different from those from my work experiences. Simply, no one had the right answer that we were trying to match or guess. Rather, the inventory was a way to take stock and see where we were (Steps 4 and 5) and where we are now (Step 10).

One element I would add in working the Steps and in working Step 10 is to expand our reflections beyond just the wrongs we have done and the mistakes we have made. I have found that balance is an important aspect of life and recovery, and this means that we also consider the good we have done as well as the right things we did. Emphasizing our mistakes and wrongs can often only lead us deeper into shame – not a good place to be. Like with an accounting balance sheet, it is good to name both the assets and liabilities to arrive at a true picture of where the company is. The same is true in naming both our assets and liabilities in our lives, especially as we continue in our recovery programs.

Remaining conscious

Step 11 traditionally reads: “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood God, praying only for the knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.” I would offer a couple of words about the wording of this Step. First, I prefer “Higher Power” to “God” in this Step as well as in other Steps. For transparency, I believe in God. However, I have met many people in 12 Step groups  who struggle with God and are turned off from potential benefits from working the Steps because of the use of the word God.  I believe the use of the words “Higher Power” allows for differences in peoples’ experiences around God, and if I believe in God, I can name my Higher Power as God, while honoring the experiences of others who do not believe in a God. Another challenge I have in the Steps, as well as in other places, is when God is only referred to as “He” or “Him” or “His.” I see God as Father and Mother, female and male. My reasoning – if we believe that we are all created in the image of God (as I do) and there are women, where do women come from if not from a creator God who is both male and female?

I see the thrust of this Step as finding ways to be and remain conscious and awake in living our lives. This involves seeking to be discerning about where our life is heading as well as finding the power to be true to this calling, whatever that might be. This is important because it is really the opposite of what we read in Step 1 where we declared we were powerless. In this Step, we are asking for the power and using that power to live what we believe and value in our recovery.

Multiple books have been written about the different ways to pray and meditate. I want to name a few ways that have been helpful to me and others who I know. A favorite prayer of mine – as well as that of many 12 Step groups – is the Serenity Prayer. I have added expressing Gratitude to this traditional prayer – “I am grateful to the Serenity, Courage and Wisdom, you have given me.” I have written a book on this: The Gratitude Element: A New Look at the Serenity Prayer, Gasscann Publishers, Minneapolis MN, 2015.

Another way to meditate is simply to take time to slow down and breathe as well as sending healing energies to the Universe and to specific people who are hurting. Sharing intimate conversations about important issues with partners, friends, sponsors. Praying with others in a group, naming what draws and keeps this group together. Another way that I practice is journaling. I feel very fortunate that many years ago I was introduced to a man who became my mentor – Ira Progoff – who developed a way to pray and meditate upon one’s life which helps to keep us conscious of what is important in our lives. If you are interested, I would suggest reading his book called The Practice of Process Meditation, Dialogue House Library, New York, 1980.  What is important is that we find ways to pray and meditate that help us remain conscious and awake about our lives and the use of our talents and gifts. This leads us to Step 12.

Service of others

As I mentioned, I see this leading into what I see as the focus of Step 12. This Step traditionally states: “Having has a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts and to practice these principles in all our affairs.” I have found this Step to be intriguing as it contains a number of different aspects. Let me try to explain how I see these different aspects.

First, the Step names a goal for the working of the 12 Steps – “a spiritual awakening.” Now, what is that and what does that mean? Acting and thinking addictively and often reactively is like being asleep and unconscious. An image for me is being triggered by something or someone and we react without really thinking. A few examples of this might be like walking into a bar and having a drink because of the smells that come to us as we walk by or looking at porn without thinking about doing this. I see this Step saying, “Wake Up – and see what you are doing!” And you can make changes and choices in what you do as you are not asleep.

Second, the Step speaks of carrying the message of recovery to other addicts. I believe this is “much” too narrow of an audience. I see myself as trying to carry the message of recovery to everyone I meet by the way I relate and interact with them. One way that this translates for me is to be respectful of all people I meet, regardless of their beliefs and backgrounds. With some, I mention my addiction and participation in a 12 Step group. I don’t mention this to everyone as I believe anonymity is very useful to maintain in some situations. The important thing is that I seek to carry this message to everyone, and, in a way, I see that we are all addicted as we live in societies that are addicted.

Third, the Step speaks of practicing the principles of the 12 Steps in all of our affairs and dealing with others. What I take from this is that the goal of working the Steps is broader than just becoming sober – whatever be our addiction. We are called to be aware of others and find ways to be of service to them. It is finding ways to share our gifts and talents with others and to reach out to others who are floundering. We are living in a world that is filled with disparities and many, many people in need. A favorite saying of mine is: “Addiction flourishes in isolation, while recovery flourishes in community.” Recovery and the Steps call us to un-isolate!

Conclusion

I hope that these reflections on these 3 legs of recovery have been helpful. I feel a kind of synergy as we seek to implement these practices: Taking inventory, remaining conscious, and being of service to others. Each build upon the other and makes the table we are using more stable and stronger. May you also continue to grow stronger in your recovery and both offer and receive support from others. Thank you for reading this and I am open to your feedback and ideas because that is the way that I continue to learn and grow.

Mark T. Scannell has been in recovery for over twenty-eight years and has written three books, one of which is entitled The Village It Takes: The Power to Affirm, Gasscann Publishers, Minneapolis, 2021. He can be reached at gasscann@bitstream.net.

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Last Updated on July 6, 2023