A closer look at 10 common phrases used in recovery
Addicts and alkies are often skeptical about the brief, pithy sayings we throw around in 12-step programs. The slogans seem to dilute the complicated issues of recovery down to stock, almost clichéd phrases.
Yet, if you spend any time in Alano Club rooms, or even casually notice bumper stickers when you’re out driving, they seem ubiquitous.
For me, I was also an early skeptic. However, the longer I’m sober, the more I find these slogans to be helpful reminders of recovery principles, useful wisdom wrapped in three or four words. And there are a lot of them out there. Too many to mention in this space.
Here’s my own take on 10 of these slogans.
Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes
What does this mean? Well, the concept is similar to what many of us believe is the definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Inertia is often a default in human behavior and so it takes a lot of courage and real effort to break out of our comfort zone and choose to change.
HALT!
Are you: Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? If you are any of these, or a combination of them or all of them, then that might be why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling right now. These conditions can also be common relapse triggers. I heard a woman at an AA meeting say that HALT is the short version of the fourth and tenth steps, making searching and fearless moral inventories of ourselves and continuing to take personal inventory. HALT definitely is a practical way to take inventory.
F.E.A.R.
This stands for Face Everything And Recover. This is an especially good reminder for me. In my life, fear and anxiety and worry have often held me back. In fact, in some cases, fear would absolutely consume me. Connecting the dots and identifying what I’m afraid of or anxious about can help. In other words, facing my fears. Ultimately, it’s the only way forward. Not that it’s easy. I’ve also seen this expressed as Face Everything And Rise. That fits, too.
K.I.S.S.
Another acronym. This one means Keep It Simple, Stupid. If you’re not into self-deprecating humor, just go with Keep it Simple. We alkies and addicts do like to complicate things, which can lead us astray or paralyze our thinking and decision-making capabilities. This advice reminds us that, when it comes to our recovery, stick to the basics.
Easy Does It
I always think of the classic Eagles song “Take it Easy” when I hear this one or see it on a bumper sticker. “Take it easy… don’t let the sound of your own wheels make you crazy.” That resonates with me. I can make myself crazy ruminating about things that may or may not even happen or things that are out of my control (see the Serenity Prayer). Conversely, I can ruminate plenty about the past, too. What I should or shouldn’t have done. Past regrets. As the song also advises, “Lighten up while you still can.” Good advice.
Progress, Not Perfection
This one might be my favorite. And it comes from “How it Works” in Chapter 5 of the Big Book: “We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.” In other words, nobody’s perfect.
Attitude of Gratitude
Here’s a reminder for us to practice gratitude. I’m thankful for my program of recovery. I’m grateful for my higher power. I’m thankful for my sponsor. Keeping blessings top of mind, for me, helps sustain an attitude of gratitude.
First Things First
Simply stated, set and keep priorities. This is also a good reminder about how the 12 steps work in sequence, one after another, so we don’t get ahead of ourselves.
Let Go, Let God
Remember Step 3: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.” No matter the problem, the challenge, the obstacle to overcome, this is a reminder that we can turn it over to our Higher Power. We are not alone on this journey. As a friend once advised me, “If you’re worrying more, that means you’re praying less.” Plus, as one of the AA promises states, we will realize that “God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”
One Day at a Time
Finally, this one is probably heard and seen the most, which makes sense. It’s a reminder to stay in the present, stay in the moment, don’t get too far out ahead in making plans, and try not to fret too much about the past. Not sure who actually said this originally, but keep in mind this quote: “If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” Stay in a “just for today” mindset. And, as we’ve all likely experienced, sometimes that means taking things a day at a time, an hour at a time, or even a minute at a time.
Angelo Gentile is Minneapolis-based freelance writer.
Last Updated on November 27, 2023