I chose the image of a key as a way to describe accountability, which I see to be an important aspect of recovery — whichever addiction we are dealing with. As we begin this reflection, I would invite you to think about how important keys are in our lives. Keys help us to get around — e.g. the keys for our car that enable us to drive where we want to go. Also, keys enable us to set boundaries about what is ours and what belongs to others — like the keys for our house. Also, what happens to us when we lose our keys and are unable to do what we normally do? Keys also let us open good and new experiences as well as close off experiences that are unsettling. Just as keys are important to how we live, I see accountability in much the same way in our programs of recovery.

For those familiar with the 12 Steps, I see accountability as part of working Step 10 — continue to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. This Step follows the previous nine Steps in which we have taken stock of what we have and haven’t done in our past and shared that with God and another human being. This Step brings us into the more current time and taking stock of what is happening now. I see promptly admitting what we have done happens best when I admit this to someone. Admitting that to someone else is what I see to be at the heart of accountability. I would also add that as I have worked the Steps for almost thirty years, I sense a negative attitude to the Steps — like “when wrong.” I also like to add “when right”.

I also see being accountable to another or others as important to recovery because I think that isolation and disconnection are fertile grounds for addictive behaviors. I hid my addictive behaviors for many years — in a way, I locked them away. I see, then, that connecting with another or others as being a more fertile ground for recovery and enables me to unlock and share these experiences. This accountability can be with a sponsor, one’s recovery group or groups, a friend or a partner. What I think is important is whomever we share with is someone who can be trusted. And as I said earlier, this accountability is around both sides of our lives — the mistakes and slip ups that we make, as well as the ways we have been sober and have chosen to help others.

One other dimension to Step 10 is “promptly.” The Step urges us not to stew over what we have done, even procrastinating, and sharing what has taken place with another. My experience is that the longer we wait to share experiences — especially shameful experiences — the harder it is to share. I have found it helpful to have a list of safe and trusted people whom we can share with and be accountable to. This is like having a key to important information when we need it and don’t have to wonder with whom to share what has happened.

I see accountability, then, as a key to recovery for all of us. It is a key to setting and keeping boundaries, as well as staying connected, especially today where there is so much disconnection and triggers for addictive behaviors. Being accountable in our recovery is continually choosing sobriety, even though we might make mistakes and slip up at times.

I hope that you have people in your life to whom you can be accountable. I have a number of accountability people in my life, and I am most grateful for them!

Mark Scannell has been a veteran 12 Stepper for almost 30 years. He has written books, one of which is The Gratitude Element: A New Look at the Serenity Prayer. He is open to dialoguing about addiction and recovery issues, and he can be reached at gasscann@bitstream.net.

Last Updated on February 17, 2024