Every holiday season, you’ll find articles like this—designed to set you up for mental health success during the festivities. As you navigate this year’s celebrations, remember that one of the most important mental health relationships to maintain is the one between a medical professional and a client. This is why this holiday mental health guide features both a psychiatrist and an individual in long-term mental health recovery. For the 2024 holiday season, I checked in with Signal Award-winning podcast hosts Gabe Howard and Dr. Nicole Washington of Healthline Media’s Inside Bipolar podcast. Dr. Nicole is a board-certified psychiatrist, and Gabe is a podcaster, speaker, and author who lives with bipolar disorder. Every week, they provide practical, applicable mental health advice on their podcast, and this holiday season, their experience can serve as an invaluable gift to you.
Growing up in a family facing mental health and addiction challenges, I often wondered why the holiday season seemed to amplify our problems. Gabe Howard offers a clear reason why the holidays can feel like a pressure cooker of stress and crisis: “There’s all the financial stress, physical health stress, lack of sleep, family issues, and it’s all hitting at the same time.” This isn’t privileged or hidden knowledge; it’s widely understood that the holiday season can challenge even those with solid self-care practices. Howard reminds us that over the holidays, “some of the hard and fast rules that you would never break in June are suddenly not that important.” As he does regularly on the podcast, Gabe reminds us that effective coping strategies exist—even if they’re not as often discussed as the familiar trope of a dysfunctional and chaotic holiday season.
Howard provides a foundational tenet for preparing for the most triggering time of the year: “I manage expectations. I let people know what I can and cannot do. I have no problem saying ‘No.’ It’s a difficult thing to do.” Listening to Gabe, it’s clear that his greatest passion is sharing his lived experience of coping with and managing his bipolar symptoms. However, his experience with mental health recovery is so vast that you might think his advice is easy to employ. One thing Gabe emphasized throughout our interview is that, to develop boundaries, manage expectations, and uphold coping strategies, he had to establish a strong protective factor against mental health relapse. Listening to Gabe’s various podcast ventures reveals that most of what he preaches about his own mental health is grounded in bona fide psychiatric advice. Consulting a good mental health professional is an excellent place to start when preparing for the holidays.
Enter Dr. Nicole Washington, Gabe’s cohost, whom he refers to as “Dr. Nicole.” Dr. Nicole’s most compelling insight is her observation that the holiday season affects everyone differently. When working with clients preparing for the holidays, she says, “I usually start by asking them what the holidays are normally like for them: ‘Is this your fun time of year, where you feel great?’” As Dr. Nicole suggests, if November through mid-January aligns with good mental health, then the holidays might be a season to embrace. That said, she explains her approach to a patient with a history similar to my own: “For the person who absolutely hates the holidays, and it’s a horrible time of year, and their mood tanks every year around the holidays, I try to dig into what it is about the holidays that takes them down.” Knowing what to expect and reflecting on past patterns around the holidays is crucial to maintaining steady mental health through the season.
Finances are a trigger for mental health, and the holiday season is often when we spare no expense. This is why Gabe says, “Before the holidays come up, I start setting price limits. We’re not allowed to spend more than a certain amount of money.” This may sound simple, but when it comes to mental health, if you fail to plan, you truly plan to fail. During our brief conversation, Howard provided numerous financial fail safes that hold him accountable and keep him safe. “My wife and I, we have a no-gift policy, so that helps. In the early days, I wasn’t allowed to have credit cards. The credit cards were taken from me.” Some may see this as a loss of autonomy, but as someone in long-term recovery from bipolar disorder, I can say that restrictive financial measures might very well have saved my life. Planning ahead for the holidays isn’t just a novel practice; it is a vital mental wellness habit.
Knowing what to expect and reflecting on past patterns around the holidays is crucial to maintaining steady mental health through the season.Reflecting on a previous discussion with Dr. Nicole, Gabe shared, “You know, she said something once about how it’s not December that worries her—it’s January, because that’s when everybody crashes.” As the discussion progressed, Dr. Nicole offered Gabe and me a bird’s-eye view of November, December, and January from a psychiatrist’s perspective. During the holiday rush, Dr. Nicole observes certain patterns: “I think what I see most is people kind of brushing off their visits. You know, it’s the holidays. They feel more comfortable canceling a visit. They run out of meds. They just feel more comfortable not being as aggressive or active in their treatment.” Dr. Nicole’s observations might as well describe twelve consecutive Christmases in my early adulthood, prior to finally embracing mental health recovery. A few missed appointments can start a domino effect, leading to a mental health relapse.
After speaking with Dr. Nicole and Gabe, I realized they were two people who did not buy into the holiday hype. Both agreed that one of the most important things to consider over the holidays is providing a healthy environment for those struggling with mental health. Dr. Nicole said, “We need to make sure we are creating an environment that allows that person to be successful and thrive. So, if we know there are certain topics that maybe we should avoid because this person is new and fragile in their recovery, then we don’t have to go there. I think it’s okay for us to avoid those topics. We don’t have to have all the deep, heavy conversations at Thanksgiving.”
Gabe made a crucial parallel between how we treat recovery from physical health crises versus mental health crises. “You know, if the family matriarch or patriarch had a heart attack or fell down the stairs and broke both legs, we’re canceling the holidays immediately. If someone gets diagnosed with bipolar disorder or schizophrenia and just had a seven-day hospital stay, it’s like, ‘Well, we’re back to normal. You’re good now, right?’ ’No, we’re not!’ So, you need to take this seriously as well.’ And that might mean canceling or rearranging some plans.”
The holidays are supposed to be a time for family and friends when we reflect on what is truly important—or at least that’s what this year’s Hallmark movies will tell you. Gabe and Dr. Nicole have shown us that, in order to do this, we must plan time for self-care, plan ahead, stay connected to professionals, and encourage our loved ones to make space for the healing we need.
Seth Perry (he/him/his), an ELCA Pastor, devotional blogger, and mental health recovery educator, embraces his journey of living well with Bipolar Type 1. He works to reduce stigma where faith, mental health, and personal growth intertwine. Pastor Seth currently serves Elim Lutheran Church in Scandia, MN. His website is: www.ourstigma.com.
Last Updated on November 10, 2024