The question that provides the title for this article came to me as I read a very recent book on rituals by Bruce Feiler. The book is entitled A Time to Gather: How Ritual Created the World and How It Can Save Us (New York: Penguin Press, 2026). I found Feiler’s reflections on ritual to be very enlightening and challenging for us living in a time of disconnection, loneliness and addiction. In this article, I would like to try to connect his thinking with how we might find rituals that can help us in our recovery from addictions.

I will begin with a few thoughts from Feiler’s book that connect with our on-going work of recovery from addiction. Feiler states: “A ritual is a place to gather and dream – to conjure passing through the tightest place you have ever been and experience what it is like to reach dry land on the other side” (pg. 32). I see this being lived out in recovery groups where people come together to support one another in tight places in the search for sobriety. One of the favorite adages of the 12 Step group I belong to is: Addiction flourishes in isolation, while recovery flourishes in community. We are unable to do this alone; we need supportive people to walk with.

Feiler also shares: “Rituals are essays on what is possible for a human being” (pg. 292) and “the purpose of a ritual is to turn fear into hope” (pg .293). One last thought from Feiler: “The more you invest in a group, the more you value a group” (pg. 101).

Rituals are often part of our day-to-day lives. Civic rituals, like the recent celebration of 250 years as a country, and our annual Thanksgiving Day, are two examples. There are also personal and family rituals, like birthdays and weddings, as well as daily rituals, like family meals and exercising. We need rituals to bring and keep some order in our lives. A life without rituals can be very disorderly and leave us open to addictive behaviors.

I find some rituals that are part of the 12 Step group I attend to be very helpful in remaining on the path of sobriety and would like to share some of these. The weekly meeting is really a ritual; there is an order and agenda to the meeting and we meet at the same time each week. I see this as giving us order in our week. Another ritual I find important is requesting a coin or medallion to celebrate our time in recovery. Celebrating a person’s recovery is an important ritual of recognition and affirmation.

The purpose of rituals is to turn our fears into hope.

There are other rituals that I find important in our meetings, too: Choosing a sponsor and meeting regularly with them; saying prayers together like the Serenity Prayer; encouraging people to make calls to other members of the group between meetings, especially when someone is triggered.

I close with the thought I quoted earlier from Feiler that the purpose of rituals is to turn our fears into hope. Hopefully in recovery, we have found individuals and groups that have helped us become more hopeful and less fearful. One other ritual I have found helpful over many years is reading the issues of The Phoenix Spirit. To learn from the experiences of others is an important ritual that keeps us alive and helps us remain sober.

So, to return to the question I began this article with: Do we ever outgrow our needs for rituals? I don’t think we ever outgrow our need for rituals, especially in our hopes and dreams for recovery and sobriety. I hope you have rituals that are able to provide this for you and that you can share with others.

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Mark Scannell is an avid 12 Stepper who has been working the 12 Steps for over 30 years and sees the Steps as foundational for a healthy and sane life. He authored recently a book on the 12 Steps entitled: Affirm & Nurture: A New Look at the 12 Steps.