Author: John H. Driggs

When You Were the Emotional Comforter of a Needy Parent

Some children grow up playing a special role in their families. They’re expected to emotionally manage an unstable and selfish parent for the sake of the family. In return for such caretaking, they’re given praise by the needy parent but are secretly hated by their siblings for getting extra attention. Often such children are chosen …

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Living a Meaningful Life

“Being empty is a lot like knowing the words to a song but not knowing the music. Feeling full is just the opposite. You know both the words and the music to the song and are able to sing them aloud with your whole heart.” *** “I don’t know why I’m I so unhappy. I’m …

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Being Used is Different From Being Loved

“It’s not the pretending, but the pretending that we are not pretending that hurts us.” — Sheldon Kopp, psychoanalyst and author Most of us at least intellectually understand that real love is different from exploitive caring. Caring for someone because of what they do for us is not the same as caring for someone because …

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In a World Without Empathy

world without empathy

Imagine living in a world where no one is capable of understanding anybody else’s feelings. In such a world, someone could grasp how you feel only if he or she had exactly the same experiences you’ve had. If they hadn’t had those experiences they would have no idea what you are talking about. Consequently, you’d …

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Love Is Stronger Than Hate

So many of us are afraid that this national election will not turn out right and that we will be stuck electing a leader who both promotes hate and decries democracy. With good reason, we endlessly obsess about national polls and the latest news regarding the election. We lose a lot of sleep over this …

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Hidden Shame: A Curse and a Blessing

shame mind body connection

Hidden shame is a powerful emotional and physiological reaction. It fills our being in covert ways. It can cause us to become violent or withdrawn from life and it can prompt us to bring out the better parts of ourselves in ways we never expected. It is both a curse and a blessing. Typically we …

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Forgiving Yourself When Your Children Suffer

Imperfect as we are, parents today deserve all the credit in the world for raising children in challenging times. Many of us fret over how we’re doing as parents. Examining our part in our children’s pain can be the most painful thing we do in life. Seeing our kids suffer today due to our own …

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Where is My Special Someone?

Like no other time of the year; the Christmas holidays bring out our yearnings for love and prompts many of us to ask, “Where is my special someone?” Implied in our questions are feelings of discouragement and resignation since our particular special someone has simply not showed up. If you are in this fix, realize …

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