“We have met the enemy and it is us.” —Winnie the Pooh We all know the routine. We promise ourselves to work out at the gym and later find reasons not to. We tell ourselves we’ve had it with being lonely on the weekends yet we don’t join that dating service. We really miss our …
“We have met the enemy and he is us.” Pogo, a comic strip character. Is it possible to have compassion for someone we totally hate? Do we play no part in the relationship with our arrogant boss who regularly puts us down? Can we ever forgive a parent who has virtually changed the course of …
Some children grow up playing a special role in their families. They’re expected to emotionally manage an unstable and selfish parent for the sake of the family. In return for such caretaking, they’re given praise by the needy parent but are secretly hated by their siblings for getting extra attention. Often such children are chosen …
“Being empty is a lot like knowing the words to a song but not knowing the music. Feeling full is just the opposite. You know both the words and the music to the song and are able to sing them aloud with your whole heart.” *** “I don’t know why I’m I so unhappy. I’m …
“It’s not the pretending, but the pretending that we are not pretending that hurts us.” — Sheldon Kopp, psychoanalyst and author Most of us at least intellectually understand that real love is different from exploitive caring. Caring for someone because of what they do for us is not the same as caring for someone because …
Imagine living in a world where no one is capable of understanding anybody else’s feelings. In such a world, someone could grasp how you feel only if he or she had exactly the same experiences you’ve had. If they hadn’t had those experiences they would have no idea what you are talking about. Consequently, you’d …
So many of us are afraid that this national election will not turn out right and that we will be stuck electing a leader who both promotes hate and decries democracy. With good reason, we endlessly obsess about national polls and the latest news regarding the election. We lose a lot of sleep over this …
Hidden shame is a powerful emotional and physiological reaction. It fills our being in covert ways. It can cause us to become violent or withdrawn from life and it can prompt us to bring out the better parts of ourselves in ways we never expected. It is both a curse and a blessing. Typically we …
Most of us don’t think about our circumstances. We are like fish swimming in a body of water that is getting ever more poisonous. We don’t see how sick we are becoming simply due to the toxicity of the water. We adapt to living with environmental hazards and minimize toxicity. After all, other fish swim …
Imperfect as we are, parents today deserve all the credit in the world for raising children in challenging times. Many of us fret over how we’re doing as parents. Examining our part in our children’s pain can be the most painful thing we do in life. Seeing our kids suffer today due to our own …
