“Oh yes, I’m the great pretender, Pretending that I’m doing well, My need is such I pretend too much, I’m lonely but no one can tell…” —From Buck Ram’s “The Great Pretender” These days too many of us lack an identity. We may say we are our own persons and claim to be independent. Yet …
Probably the most important decision that you will make in your life is who to have as a life mate and who to co-parent with in raising your children. This is a sacred passage in your life, often referred to as the Intimacy Phase of being emotionally close in a committed relationship to another human …
Probably the most important decision you will ever make in your lifetime is who to choose as a loving mate. How much you will feel loved and are able to love, how well your children will be raised, how much meaning you find in life and how happy you are well into your later years …
Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable fulfillment which cannot be explained by those symbols called words. Their meaning can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart. —Martin Luther King, Jr. As I reflect on my life, I realize there are critical life lessons that make me into the person …
In all of our lives there certainly are those times when it is very healthy to live only for ourselves. If we are just about to give birth to a child, if our recovery in a hospital from a life-threatening illness like alcoholism is at stake, or if we are powerless over another family member’s …
Facing and resolving the major impediments in our life will bring us to a better lot in our life, one that surpasses having no impediments at all. Assuredly what doesn’t destroy us will only make us stronger. That’s the point of all suffering. —Anonymous Numbers of depression and anxiety are skyrocketing. If you are someone …
Serenity is not in things but in what we make of things. —Epictetus, Greek Stoic Philosopher (55-135 AD) Some of us are truly happy over the long haul. However, most of us don’t know how to sustain authentic happiness. We may give ourselves some thrills in the short run but are unclear how to maintain …
Trying to care for a selfish person is like traveling into a black hole looking for love. The more you do it, the more you lose yourself. Eventually you disappear and perish in agony. —Anonymous Nothing pains me more in my mental health practice than witnessing a well-intentioned person trying desperately to be loved by …
Having too many rules is just another way of saying: “I don’t trust anybody to love me.” “I’ll never forget my father’s funeral. It was tragic beyond words. Several people came to our family church to say goodbye to Bill. He had been a dutiful member of our community and responsible breadwinner of our family. …
Are parents really in charge of their families today? Most parents would say, “Of course we are!” The more honest answer is, “Probably not.” Popular media, peer culture and our very own beloved children themselves often run our families today. Don’t get me wrong. We parents really do love our children. It’s just that we …
