• Hazelden Renewal Center

Adult Children of Sexual Dysfunction – Coping, Changing, Growing

ACSD

Adult Children of Sexual Dysfunction (ACSD) is a 12 Step group of women and men attempting to overcome the effects of growing up in a sexually dysfunctional family. Their common goal is to become sexually, spiritually and emotionally healthy. Below, two members of ACSD share their stories in the hope that others will read it and if they can relate, will know that there are other people out there working through similar, but different histories. Jolene’s story Could you describe the sexual dysfunction in your family growing up? My story is pretty atypical. I suffered extreme sexual abuse from virtually … Continue reading

Finding Happiness

happiness lemons

“Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.” Albert Schweitzer I am happy to report that after much searching I have at long last found the key to happiness. Well at least I’ve unlocked my personal definition of contentment and I’m happy to share it. It wasn’t long ago I believed happiness could be found only after I’d reach certain goals. The problem with that logic was that when a goal was met there were always others to strive for. If  I failed to fulfill a certain wish did that mean I was doomed to eternal despair? … Continue reading

Shame on You! Understanding the Shame-Rage Connection

shame rage

This article first appeared in our April 2007 issue of The Phoenix Spirit. Many people believe that punishing and explosive anger is a sign of power, confidence and “being on top of your game.” In face, this is not the case at all. Disrespectful anger and even all out rage actually come out of a deep sense of powerlessness, inadequacy and despair. Another word for that place is shame. Shame is a significant part of all human misery. Shame can lead to a whole host of compulsive, addictive, irresponsible, and demoralizing attitudes and behaviors and is a major contributor to … Continue reading

Do You Play a Role?

what role do i play

Take a look below at some examples of life scripts that angry people play out in their lives. You may recognize yourself in these or you might see others you know in them. Even if they don’t seem to fit, think about the script and the roles that you may be playing out and try to identify, very specifically, how they have affected your life. The GOOD LITTLE GIRLS/BOYS who reacted to the shaming by seeking to please and placate others. They get resentful when no one seems to appreciate and value everything they are trying so hard to do. The … Continue reading

Healing the Invisible Harm of Emotional Cruelty

healing from emotional cruelty

All my life I’ve felt there’s something terribly wrong with me–something I can’t put into words, something that makes me different from everybody else. People say, “Sheila, you are a good person” but I know they don’t really like me. Sometimes I really hate myself. I know you’ll think this is stupid. For the longest time I thought it was the fact that I was adopted that made me feel this way. One day I looked at an old photo of when I first arrived as an infant. I was stunned to see how my father was holding me while … Continue reading