Most of us don’t think about our circumstances. We are like fish swimming in a body of water that is getting ever more poisonous. We don’t see how sick we are becoming simply due to the toxicity of the water. We adapt to living with environmental hazards and minimize toxicity. After all, other fish swim …
Category: Relationships
Friends Forever
“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Marcel Proust She looked interesting. Unconventional in dress, not afraid of dirty garden hands as she worked the soil of her urban terrain. She propped plants on imaginative metal sculptures. Her pure white hair was …
Where is My Special Someone?
Like no other time of the year; the Christmas holidays bring out our yearnings for love and prompts many of us to ask, “Where is my special someone?” Implied in our questions are feelings of discouragement and resignation since our particular special someone has simply not showed up. If you are in this fix, realize …
The Mistake of Choosing a Person Who Doesn’t Have a Conscience
Some of us are not aware of people who lack a conscience—those who lack empathy for others and cannot tolerate differences between themselves and others. Our lack of awareness is sometimes prompted by a misguided fear of being judgmental of others and an over willingness to give others the benefit of the doubt. The fact …
Letting Other People Love You
It might seem like the easiest thing in the world to accept hugs, kindness and caring from another person but in fact many of us have the hardest time doing that and we may shun people who are loving to us. Most of us actually need warmth and compassion from others especially when it is …
Loneliness: Openings to Connection
I read with great interest Mary Lou Logsdon’s recent article in the September-October issue of The Phoenix Spirit: “The Cost of Loneliness.” Mary Lou’s reflections resonate with what I have been thinking since I also read the Surgeon General’s Report – Vivek H Murthy – in which he describes loneliness as a major epidemic in …
The Cost of Loneliness
“In the short term if I feel loneliness, it’s like any other biological signals. It’s like hunger or thirst. It’s alerting me that something that’s critical for my survival is missing. ” —Vivek Murthy I suppose it was inevitable. I thought I was past the possibility. We were done with Covid—a story to tell our …
Guidance for Women: How to Meet the Love of Your Life
Probably the most important decision that you will make in your life is who to have as a life mate and who to co-parent with in raising your children. This is a sacred passage in your life, often referred to as the Intimacy Phase of being emotionally close in a committed relationship to another human …
Words to the Wise for Men: How To Pick a Loving Life Mate
Probably the most important decision you will ever make in your lifetime is who to choose as a loving mate. How much you will feel loved and are able to love, how well your children will be raised, how much meaning you find in life and how happy you are well into your later years …
Whose Problem Is This?
“Allowing others to suffer the consequences of their own actions, without enabling them, is the best motivation for them to undertake the difficult task of change.” ― Darlene Lancer I remember the freedom I felt when I considered the question: Whose problem is this? The problem wasn’t mine, though it felt like mine. I was the one …