Tag: relationships

Why Do You Go?

Grandpa was a difficult man. He was kind and loving on his own terms, but not at all forbearant with people, places, and things that he did not understand. My wife and her family didn’t regard him as odd in the least—well, that’s not true. They had simply grown accustomed to his idiosyncrasies and each …

Read more

Overcoming Grandiosity in Recovery

“He who loves himself too much will have no rivals.” — Benjamin Franklin Self-inflation is a major problem in our culture and an impediment to personal growth and recovery. It is the exaggerated belief in our own exceptionalism—that we are a cut above others with little or no evidence to support our belief. It involves …

Read more

Welcome to Recovery From Codependency

first person testimony

I had difficulty in my love relationships, friendships and relationships with co-workers and my family. Everything felt so difficult. Why did I keep getting fired from jobs, even from my own business? Why couldn’t men love me the way I needed to be loved? I know how to fix everyone else’s problems, why can’t I …

Read more

When Good-Hearted Men Marry Selfish Women

“The Knife and the Wound Both Need Each Other.” — Sheldon Kopp, Psychoanalyst and Writer I’ve been married to Laura for 25 years and I’ve never been able to please her. We go for a period of time with things going well between us. Then out of the blue she gets bent out of shape …

Read more

How Culture is Turning Us All Into Unhappy Fools

Those of us in the field of addiction recovery understand all too well the concept of euphoric recall. We chase things outside ourselves to make us happy based on a thrilling memory of how they once did, albeit temporarily. Our pulse rate increases, we get arousing physical sensations and we can’t stop thinking about the …

Read more

Choosing Gratitude Over Alienation

“Our life begins to end the day we stop being grateful.” -Anonymous It’s that time of year when many of us gather with loved ones intending to give thanks. We experience tender moments with family or at least what we hope will be tender moments. Too often we’ve become disappointed as the actual closeness with …

Read more

Social Integration Will Add Years to Your Life

young adults interacting

Smile and say hello to a random stranger today — social integration and personal relationships lead to longevity. Face-to-face connection releases a whole cascade of neurotransmitters that reduces stress, including dopamine, a neurotransmitter that helps give you a natural high and may relieve pain. It’s been found through various long-term studies that the top two …

Read more

When You Want Somebody Else to Change

wanting others to change

When we want somebody else to change we often make mistakes.  We either get too passive and expect change to happen without any effort on our part.  Out of fear of rocking the boat we may excuse another’s behavior by saying “Well that’s just the way the other person is.” Alternatively we may try to …

Read more