Hidden shame is a powerful emotional and physiological reaction. It fills our being in covert ways. It can cause us to become violent or withdrawn from life and it can prompt us to bring out the better parts of ourselves in ways we never expected. It is both a curse and a blessing. Typically we …
I’ve never been a woman who just couldn’t live without having kids. In fact, when Bob approached me after two years of married life and said he wanted kids, I told him I wasn’t sure I was ready. I said first he would have to save for a trust fund for all the therapy our …
In January 2014, my son, David, 39, passed away following a 15-year addiction to heroin. We started out as an average suburban family: Father, mother, David, and Bill, an older brother. David’s father was a police officer, and I worked part-time as a secretary at the boys’ elementary school. Our lives centered on our community …
I grew up in a world of Dichotomy, a world of beer cans and Bibles, I was expected to be nice to others, but treated not so nice in our home by my alcoholic father. I recited prayers but felt panicked. To me this was normal. When I was somewhere around thirteen years old, one …
My first calls for help weren’t loud enough – given the deserted condo grounds three stories below. No tracks in the snow. Not even a bird or squirrel in the oak trees outside the screen. The sun was low, showing streaks on the sliding glass door that had closed with a solid, unmistakable click. I …
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt, ‘This Is My Story’ 1937 My week was going great until I got my annual work review. I’ve worked at this therapeutic youth center for 20 years as a recreational therapist. I love my job, my peers respect me and I have great …
Nothing tugs at the heartstrings of parents more than knowing that our children are suffering from ways we’ve harmed them. Such awareness may feel unbearable for any of us to endure. Most of us would rather deny the full extent of how we’ve affected our children if we want to live with any sense of …
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt, This Is My Story I had an eye-opening experience at church last week. A bunch of ladies at our coffee hour were all talking about their adult kids and how well they were adjusting to the challenges of college life. Being that my …
Q: I’ve read in books and heard from holistic practitioners that our state of mind contributes to our state of health. In dealing with my own health issues, this leaves me feeling like I just can’t win. When I feel the worst physically and out of control of my body, I have to also look …
This article first appeared in our April 2007 issue of The Phoenix Spirit. Many people believe that punishing and explosive anger is a sign of power, confidence and “being on top of your game.” In face, this is not the case at all. Disrespectful anger and even all out rage actually come out of a …
